YouInspireUs

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Our Inspirational Writer

Life often takes you on crossroads where a decision has to be made. Often we are not certain if we are taking the right decision. But then due to limited time for decision making and often trusting our gut and advise of those around us we take that decision in the hope that it was the right one. But only time can tell that….

Life often takes you on crossroads where a decision has to be made. Often we are not certain if we are taking the right decision. But then due to limited time for decision making and often trusting our gut and advise of those around us we take that decision in the hope that it was the right one. But only time can tell that….

For someone who believes in living life to the fullest, gets powered by inspiration, loves yoga & various forms of dance – Getting detected with Breast Cancer was the first crossroad where the need was to come to terms with the news, to digest it. I had no idea when it silently crept on to me.

Putting my hands at the hands of the Oncologists, I followed their advise as a dutiful patient and did everything they said. My course was to get a surgery done and then evaluate if Chemotherapy was needed. Whilst I walked in with all the courage to the operating theatre, I could gather, I came out with searing pain and movements that were easy to do before the surgery but were near impossible now. As the post surgical reports suggested I needed Chemotherapy. I had no idea what Chemotherapy was or how it was administered. And like most women I instantly thought what about my hair.  I could not bear the thought of seeing strands of hair on the pillow each morning. And whilst I was still assimilating all of this I learnt that I also needed to undergo Radiation therapy.

Everything seemed unreal at this Crossroad which was my second. I had no idea what the next few months had in store for me. And stood at this crossroad, surgery seemed easier.

Anyway I got on with the programme and started my Chemo therapy that was with a “dose dense”  format i.e. every two weeks and this meant I had to ensure that the my platelet & other counts had to be in good numbers. After my first Chemo, I fell seriously sick. I had to be admitted back into the hospital. This was my 3rd Cross road since the doctors could not figure the reason for fever but strongly advised that I should get admitted else regret may await us ahead.

So I got myself checked in and was immediately put on a drip. That needle stayed stuck to my body for 3 days and that’s when I sat up on my 4th crossroads & told myself that – this is it. From this moment onward, I will not let things run on auto pilot but I will take control and I vowed that all my Chemo’s will go through as planned, my counts   will be within the levels and I will successfully come on to the other side. And that’s exactly what happened.

The next was my Crossroad was when my Radiation Therapy started – whilst it seemed more harmless in the sense of impact it caused in my day-to-day activities in comparison to chemotherapy but it caused damage in various other ways.

Once my therapies finished I was ready to take on life once again. I had fine baby like hair growing back, my eye lashes were starting to re-appear & my eyes once again had brows. The days, weeks, months were not easy. They were tough for me & for my family. From not being able to stomach food to high fever – I saw my health graph go up & down. The definitions of what a good day is changed from one where I got a big appreciation or a bonus to being a day where I did not throw up. Cribbing about how dry my hair is gave way to “I am happy, I have hair”. Lifting my arm to pick even 100 gms of weight seemed like a miracle and the fact that I had been through all this and I was still alive – was a life changing revelation for me. My priorities got re-configured, I started to cherish the smaller things in my environment and most importantly, decided that I wanted to share my experience with a larger group of women to help spread awareness about Breast Cancer and also help them in going through this journey.

During my journey in battling Cancer I learnt that external sources can only give you finite amount of energy or positive thinking or resilience. But it is very important to find that source of happiness within. It does not come easy and it can take a while as well. But once you identify that sweet spot within, you empower yourself to take control. You empower yourself to take action. I don’t want to talk about the sad parts of my journey as I remember them less & less and recall how Chemotherapy was a breeze. How I would eat samosa’s and jalebi’s whilst the medicines were rapidly flowing into my body. So my advice to all women out there, Prioritize your visit to the doctor over a visit to the salon; because that visit could help you save enough money to fund your salon visits for the rest of your life. So get up & take that long overdue appointment & get going….

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